In today’s Cliterature review, we explore Taken by the Pterodactyl, a brief story that now makes Fabio the second least fuckable fossil to carry a story. Dinosaurs finally get the erotic treatment that no one has ever wanted and I couldn’t be more unsettled.
Our leading lady is Dianne, described only as a nineteen year old with sunbleached hair, perky tits, and a smile that gets her whatever she wants. She was a cheerleader in high school, before whatever undisclosed cataclysmic event occurred that brought dinosaurs back from extinction.
Dianne and her family now raise sheep in the New Lands, where bacon and coffee are scarce but pillows, blinds and lacy bras are still available. She is tasked with the job of watching over the flock during the midday, when the pterodactyls are most active in their scavenging for food. S
he is quickly scooped up by the titular Pterodactyl and is whisked away to his nest, certain she is about to be eaten alive.
Dianne, who I can only assume suffers a traumatic brain injury during her capture, is delighted to discover that the pterodactyl who has taken her is super into foreplay. Virginal Dianne gets her bra pecked off and nips nibbled by this horrifying ancient monster and she is wetter than the sweatshirt I gagged into while reading this story. Dianne quickly goes from being terrified of being eaten alive to being eaten out (which leaves me with my own logistical questions about the length of a pterodactyl’s tongue compared to its beak, but it feels like nitpicking at this point).
We are treated to a description of a growing, slimy pink pterodactyl boner, which Dianne the Cuntress (who, again, has never had sex), just needs to have all up in her guts. Good news, Dianne, because Dino D is coming your way! She gets fucked, the pterodactyl cream pies inside her, she licks the cum, I dry heave until my eyes water. Our story ends with poor Dianne, wishing to stay in the pterodactyls nest and get railed for the rest of her life.
This story conjured a lot of emotions for me. Sure, it’s funny because of how ridiculous the concept is. It’s head scratching, due to some logical fallacies that weren’t explained (if Dianne’s family knew that pterodactyls hunt sheep at a certain time of day, why do they let the sheep just roam free instead of putting them in the barn?).
I was relieved to discover that the sex was consensual, and that the book is only twelve pages long. Deeply relieved. And, as someone who has a deep and almost pathological fear of birds, the thought of an ancient pelican nipping at my nipples and cooing while it comes inside me left me somewhat disturbed.