RICHMOND, VA – Fifty-eight year old man Jim Podgorski’s day was ruined when he walked into his local TGI Friday’s only to discover that “the guy” was the one who would be waiting on his table.
“Normally they give me Alice or Natalie or Grace,” a heartbroken Podgorski said of the 18-21 year old females who typically take his order. “Hell, I’d even take Tiffany despite the fact that she’s a little on the hefty side, but ‘the guy?’ Fuck my life.”
Podgorski is a regular at the TGI Friday’s, apparently showing up daily for his baby back ribs and margarita fix. The female wait staff has been exceptionally nice to Podgorski, laughing at his jokes and flirting with him in an innocuous way. Podgorski understands that there’s nothing more to their behavior than simply being friendly.
“It’s all just for fun,” Podgorski said. “I’m not a creep. I’m not expecting anything. There’s a considerable age difference between me and these girls anyway. Of course, if they made a move on me it’s not like I’d say no. You know, some younger girls actually dig older guys. That’s a thing I see on PornHub all the time.”
Unfortunately, there will be no smiles today or flirtatious laughs. Instead it will only be polite nods and one word conversations between Podgorski and “the guy,” whose name Podgorski can’t remember despite having worked there longer than any of the female employees. He believes it starts with a “B.”