Beer Hands comes from a character a friend would periodically portray in college days. Beer Hands has had many different notable professions that required the use of his hands, which were inexplicably beer bottles. He’s held down jobs as a stenographer, construction, paleontology, an electrician etc. How Beer Hands managed to secure any of these particular jobs is a bit of a mystery. I think it’s because he’s so laid back and sipping on his beer hands.
Even though he often drank from his own beer hands, they never seemed too empty. It was a miracle in and of itself. He doesn’t say much — actually he doesn’t speak at all. The only thing he needs to do in order to express his feelings is a simple shrug and a sip from one of his beer hands. He’s gotten far in life mainly because he doesn’t speak, and he’s a great listener. Because that’s all people really want in life — for someone to listen to their bullshit.