7.5McBain (1991) – The Early Nineties Version of The Expendablesbear·April 23, 2019After his old war buddy is executed by a Dictator, Christopher Walken rounds up his Vietnam War pals to slaughter 240 people and blow up all the things. This is the version of The Expendables that hike their pants up to their armpits.
6Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot (1992) – Not A Threat, But An Empty Promisebear·March 26, 2019Stop! is what happens when hacky "buddy cop" tropes cross planes with hacky "overbearing mother" tropes to create a Venn Diagram of absolute fuckery.
3.8Death Spa (1989) – It’s Actually Just A Death Gymbear·March 14, 2019Death Spa is really a Death Gym, and even that's a loose definition. It's a vague Death Place or a Death Warehouse somewhere in Canada for the tax credit.
1Foodfight! (2012) – A Movie or Money Laundering Front?bear·March 5, 2019Just know that before you ask "but who actually wins the titular Food Fight?" the answer is nobody. We. All. Lose.
2Little Nicky (2000) – The Road to Hell is Paved with Little Nicky DVDsbear·January 30, 2019What began in 1998's The Waterboy by Adam Sander becomes fully realized in 2000's Little Nicky. Witness the birth of modern-era Sandler. The road to Hell is paved with Little Nicky DVDs.
6.8GETEVEN AKA Road to Revenge (1993) – The Ultimate Vanity Filmbear·January 16, 2019·1 CommentGeteven is a bizarre Vanity Project that may actually rival The Room, and it came out an entire decade earlier.
7Green Lantern: First Flight (2008) – Training Day in Spacebear·April 16, 2019Hal Jordan plays the role of Ethan Hawke while Sinestro covers Denzel Washington's role in the Green Lantern rendition of 2001's Training Day
7Us (2019) – Jordan Peele’s Second Best MovieChilly·March 24, 2019Is Us a horror masterpiece or a convoluted mess? We take a look at Jordan Peele''s second best movie.
7Wonder Woman (2009) – Femanism? More Like Femanisn’tbear·March 22, 2019In a tonally inconsistent film, Wonder Woman feels like it was written by a privileged, basement-dwelling incel neckbeard fragile white male. Cool actions scenes, though!
8Batman: Gotham Knight (2008) – Batmanime and The Batmanimatrixbear·March 10, 2019Instead of the same rehashed introduction to Batman, we get a stylized anthology highlighting the myth of Batman.
8Justice League: The New Frontier (2008) – A Silver Age Love Letterbear·February 23, 2019·1 CommentWe get a mature, period-piece to introduce the Silver Age Justice League.
3.9Serenity (2019)Chilly·January 28, 2019Serenity has the distinction of being the Worst Film of 2019, which would be a much bigger accomplishment if this were October and not January.
5.2One Winter Proposal (2019)I spent the entirety of Hallmark's sequel "One Winter Proposal" thinking that I never saw the first movie "One Winter Weekend" only for my girlfriend to reveal that I had.
5Winter Castle (2019)Just how dreamy is the single dad widower in Hallmark's first film in their "Winterfest" series? Spoiler Alert: Super F'N dreamy.
6.4The Princess Switch (2018)My girlfriend watched "The Princess Switch." Which means that I ALSO watched "The Princess Switch." Luckily, I survived.
