- “You need to use protection even when you cyber.”
- “You were aborted as a fetus once.”
- “The nuva ring didn’t stop you.”
- “Want to see the new John Travolta and Kirstie Alley movies, Look Who’s Talking Still and No, that’s not a movie already?
- “You’re lucky safe-sex was popularized in the early ’90’s then de-popularized in the 2010’s.”
- “I didn’t put the pill alarm on repeat.”
- “Don’t drink while pregnated. There’s P.U.I. checkpoints everywhere.”
- “I’m disowning you because you’re NOT gay.”
- “Canadian Bacon? More like Canadian break-in!”
- “I’m a cool dad, I let you have your first drink under my controlled supervision so it’s only fair to do the same when you lose your virginity.”
- “Here’s pictures of my new genital piercing to take for show and tell!”
- “The best sex is unprotected sex. And gay sex. Unprotected gay sex.”
- “What is pimples?”
- “What is books?”
- “What is read?”
- “I want to be buried in Facebook with all my family and friends.”
- “Don’t LOL at me.”
- “I left behind 364 untweeted tweets for you to tweet when I’m gone”
- “Pluto was a planet?”
- “Family Circus was hilarious.”
- “I remember when I wanted a kid.”
