Best Man

I was lucky enough to be Best Man for Mouse’s wedding three years ago. It was a hell of a party and it was an honor to stand by his side on his special day. I was tasked with doing a Best Man speech, and even though I made gratuitous cuts to it, the speech ran nearly twenty minutes. Twenty glorious minutes.

Though longer than a typical wedding speech, I approached it like a stand up set – which Mouse often joked that it would be another “gig” for me. Some of the groom’s family (the older, east coast crowd) didn’t appreciate some of the parts of the speech. To be fair I DID have a couple swears and said “blowjob” once or twice. But hey, Mouse said to “have fun with it” and to “do whatever” and I still managed to keep it PG-13.


Mousebear Comedy is just a couple dudes hiding behind an anthropomorphic mouse and bear in order to purge our shadow through webstuff.

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About The Author


BEAR never met his real dad and was forced to be his own father figure. He spent his time as a child grounding himself or disappointing himself when he missed his t-ball games that he promised himself he would definitely be there for this time. He beat himself up often, metaphorically and literally, so C.P.S. came and took him away from himself. At this point BEAR discovered that he could see in the dark, but only if he spent several minutes letting his eyes adjust first. BEAR is also a Capricorn and loves long crabwalks on the beach.

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