“Chernobyl would never happen in America,” says American

Chernobyl

DALLAS, TX – Anthony Wilbur is a proud patriot who believes that America is undoubtably the greatest country in the world. That is why he has been having an amazing time watching the mini-series “Chernobyl” on HBO.

“The Russian people only know bribes and corruption,” Anthony stated, firmly affixing his ‘Make America Great Again’ hat on his head. “They’re horrible people. You can see that while watching the series. The way they treat their people. The way they tried to cover-up the disaster. America would never allow something like that to happen, and they’d never cover it up if it did happen.”

This reporter was quick to bring up the three mile island incident, followed by multiple instances throughout history where America treated its own citizens horribly. Anthony quickly dismissed these events, claiming that mistakes were made in the past. “All that was a long time ago. If something like Chernobyl happened today America would move straight into action. None of this bureaucracy nonsense.”

This reporter brought up Flint, Michigan and reminded Anthony that people in that area have been forced to drink poisonous water for several years now. “That was Obama though,” Anthony blurted out before this reporter could finish speaking. “That’s also a completely different situation. Donald Trump would take care of it in a heartbeat.”

This reporter pointed out a particular scene in “Chernobyl” where the main protagonist of the series requested “all the boron in the Soviet Union” to solve the crisis and was immediately granted the request. This reporter asked Anthony if he believed that this country would grant a similar request if a nuclear meltdown were to occur in this country.

That was when Anthony pulled out his shotgun, informed the reporter that I was a communist and that I needed to get off of his property.

 

Mousebear Comedy is just a couple dudes hiding behind an anthropomorphic mouse and bear in order to purge our shadow through webstuff. If you enjoyed this then check out our News & Blog or read our Reviews. You can also listen to our Mousebear Music or feel free to drop us a line.
See Also
Canada
O (Canada) Shit